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Helping, by Not Helping by Tammy Vice

Wednesday, December 20, 2023 11:17 AM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

"If you take away a person's struggle, you take away their victory. It is like pulling a caterpillar out of its cocoon before its time. It will never become the beautiful butterfly." Cameron C. Taylor

The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do is stand back and watch Morgan struggle to do something by herself, that I can easily do for her. But I realize, once I’ve provided the tools she needs, there’s nothing more effective than letting her find her own way through the task. Even the mistakes, especially the mistakes, are opportunities for her to learn the correct path to success.

Finding a way to keep Morgan safe, while she’s gaining new independent skills, is the first priority. We’ve connected with AngelSense.com to get her a tracking device that allows us to communicate with each other when she needs help. Along with the device, we are also working with their BCBA team (Board Certified Behavior Analyst) to help us plan ways to widen her world.

Locating her favorite lunch acccessories

Having a way for Morgan and I to keep in touch, is giving us both the courage and confidence we need to let her spread her wings. Above, she is proudly returning from her quest to find her favorite chips on her own.

Morgan’s not only learning to distance in different community settings, she is also taking on more responsibility at home. I often hear her say “I can do it myself” as she is making her own breakfast and lunch. She is helping more with chores, and learning more about self care. While taking walks, we have little conversations about her latest accomplishments and new things she might like to try.

In this life, I realize that Morgan will always require a certain level of support. She will need a little extra grace on the hard days. Me too. Especially when I’m tempted to help too much. Wherever possible, I want to give her all the patience, time, and space she needs to fly.

Until Next Time,

Know the Hope!


*Disclaimer::The information and opinions expressed in this blog are the those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official views or opinions of Autism Tennessee. The author and the blog are not be held responsible for any misuse, reuse, recycled and cited and/or uncited copies of content within this blog by others.

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