*Disclaimer::The information and opinions expressed in this blog are the those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official views or opinions of Autism Tennessee. The author and the blog are not be held responsible for any misuse, reuse, recycled and cited and/or uncited copies of content within this blog by others.

Autism is a team sport. A while back, I asked some members of our team to give their perspective on Morgan. This was Papaw’s letter.

I was asked to write an article on my experience and observations of my granddaughter Morgan. I am Papaw. I can’t imagine life without her. Morgan is a unique individual. Some people would see her as disabled, but we see her as able. I think it is a matter of perspective. When Morgan’s older sister, Allison, made outstanding achievements, we were very proud and couldn’t wait to congratulate her and brag to friends and family. Morgan’s achievements may not be as noteworthy to an outside observer, but we feel the same pride and we claim our right to brag as we did with Allison. If we were to place an achievement graft for each sister side by side I believe the peaks and valleys would be very similar.

( This paragraph was removed for excessive bragging on mom and dad.  Hugs to Papaw and we appreciate the kudos. We’re just doing what parents who love their children do.  )

When Morgan was younger I was able to spend more time with her. We would go for walks in the forest. She would climb trees when allowed. We could sit for extended periods by creeks or ponds as she was quite happy tossing stones in the water to observe the splash and resulting rings. We could fish together and it could be hard to disengage her as long as the fish were biting. As she grew older our walks and fishing expeditions became much less frequent. She was becoming a young lady and had other interests.

Morgan doesn’t engage in much meaningful conversation when we are gathered with several other people, but at times when we find ourselves one on one the conversation can be no less than you might have with anyone. She doesn’t drive but I have found her to be a very apt driving critic. She is very observant and volunteers constant instruction on directions, speed, traffic lights or road conditions. Her favorite theme is “don’t break it” I am with her on that. She does prefer a little faster pace than I, so I do get the “better get a move on” request. Morgan has an opinion of other drivers on the road also. We are blessed that her opinions are not always broadcast to them by megaphone (which she does have) because I am sure there would be some road rage incidents that we might have trouble recovering from. This young lady has an opinion and doesn’t mind letting it be known.

Mamaw, Morgan and Papaw

I volunteer with homebound meals and enjoy doing so. Morgan would help me sometimes and she also seems to like it. She has called it trick or treat and it was like a game. My favorite part of our delivering system was her spontaneous prayers for the people we would serve. When she sees someone that happens to be suffering in any way that is visible her first response will be “Dear Jesus make them all better. In Jesus name, amen” or some other very sweet prayer. If Morgan ever prays for a mountain to be moved I will not be surprised if it does so. She definitely has the faith of much more than a grain of mustard seed and she believes her prayers will be answered. Her prayers are pure with no strings attached. There is no hint of racism in her. She sees all people as equal except for mom maybe and no earthly body could ever replace her because she can fix anything and right any wrong.

Morgan has very good hearing but for some unknown reason I find many times that she doesn’t get spoken request. This has gone on since her early years. I have found a simple solution, I can print what I want her to know and I get instant understanding. Morgan is 29 years old now. Her new achievements are not overwhelming but we celebrate each new accomplishment with great joy. I love her unconditionally. I pray for the day that she would be happy to spend more than a few days at a time with me and Mamaw so that Tammy and Rudy could have an opportunity to celebrate or travel and do some of the things that they so much deserve. Until that time it looks like only Mom can fix what’s broke and make everything work.

Love Papaw

Until Next Time,

Know The Hope!

Tammy

**Disclaimer::The information and opinions expressed in this blog are the those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official views or opinions of Autism Tennessee. The author and the blog are not be held responsible for any misuse, reuse, recycled and cited and/or uncited copies of content within this blog by others.

This April is the 20th Annual Breaking the Chains Benefit for Autism Tennessee. , who has been a great support for our family and countless others. We are grateful for all the years the Bluebird Cafe’ has welcomed us back. They have been the perfect intimate listening venue for our mission of sharing autism awareness and education through the Arts. We’re thankful for all of the songwriters who have donated their time and talent to support these efforts.

The event got it’s name from a song that was written for our daughter Morgan, while we were in search of her diagnosis. As I look back at the lyrics now, I view things a whole lot differently. The first line of the song says “How can I reach you, so that I can teach you?” After all these years, I’m realizing more and more that I’m the one who needed teaching. I’m the one who needed my eyes and ears opened up to appreciate the gifts of each ordinary day and not to take anything or anyone for granted.  Below is the song and the lyrics.

Help Me Break Those Chains

How can I reach you, so that I can teach you? Open up the world and put it in your hands? Cast out those shadows. Replace them with meadows. How can I help you finally understand? There is a place outside, I need to show you. Please don’t hide.

Help me break those chains that hold your precious mind. Like Rapunzel in her castle, please let down your golden hair. I need to climb and join you so that I can find that something that’s missing between here and there. Help me break those chains.

Open your eyes to the colors of rainbows. Open up your ears to hear the whippoorwill. Come out of that midnight. Reach into the sunlight. Feel the warmth that greets you as you climb those hills. Taste the sweetness of each day. Together, we will find the way.

Help me break those chains that hold your precious mind. Like Rapunzel in her castle, please let down your golden hair. I need to climb and join you so that I can find that something that’s missing between here and there. Help me break those chains. Please help me break those chains.

Until Next Time,

Know The Hope!

Tammy Vice & Family

“As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.”
‭‭John‬ ‭9‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I am so grateful for this walk God has given me with Morgan. Through it, He is continuing to help me grow in my relationship with Him each day. He is forever teaching me what I thought I knew, But Didn’t. 

Recently, our pastor presented a message about serious faith, like that of the centurion in Luke chapter seven. He sent his request to Jesus, “I’m not worthy to come to you or for you to come under my roof, but JUST SAY THE WORD and my servant will be healed.” His faith even Amazed Jesus. The centurion returned home to see his servant healed.

This brings me to a situation I’ve faced on more than a one occasion. Someone, who is very well intended, tells me if I had enough faith, my child would be healed. A while back, when I brought this up to my pastor, he said “Well, bless their heart.” 

I don’t say this to offend anyone. It’s something I’ve had to reconcile with myself, my understanding of faith and trust. I remember in my early years of parenting, someone telling me an issue they were facing with their child. I flippantly said “I just pray.” Now I realize how that may have come across, that maybe I thought they weren’t praying enough. Wow, as believers, we really have to be thoughtful about our words.

In Hebrews chapter eleven, we are told “without faith, it is impossible to please God”. I know and believe the importance of faith. God’s ways and thoughts are higher than ours, so I trust He is always working in ways I cannot see. It’s not just about Morgan, or me. It’s about a plan that’s So Much Bigger than any one of us. And yet, it’s about His Love for each and every one of us.

I do believe in miracles, BIG and small. Over the years, I’ve prayed for others and myself. I’ve felt the prayers of family and friends. I’ve seen the physical results of prayer first hand. I have no doubt when it’s God’s will to heal, He does.

I’ve prayed countless times for hard things to be removed. Still do. The truth is, no matter how fervent our faith is, sometimes we don’t get the physical results we long to see here. We’re told Jesus prayed for a cup to pass, but trusted His Father’s will. What if He didn’t? What if He hadn’t gone to that cross? Where would we be? Jesus knew His Father’s Love for Him. I know God’s perfect love for me. So therefore, I TRUST His will for me.

There was a time when my number one prayer was physical healing for Morgan. I still pray against the things she struggles with, but now I understand, it’s our hearts that need healing the most.

Until Next Time,

Know The Hope!

**Disclaimer::The information and opinions expressed in this blog are the those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official views or opinions of Autism Tennessee. The author and the blog are not be held responsible for any misuse, reuse, recycled and cited and/or uncited copies of content within this blog by others.

Thank you Miriam for offering this useful information to families considering entrepreneurship. Miriam and Douglas Neal created AbleHope (ablehope.com) to show that although it’s challenging to care for an adult child with a disability, just a little dash of hope is enough to power you through from one day to the next.

It's tricky to juggle the responsibilities of parenting and business ownership, and doing so while living with disabilities can be even more of a challenge. Knowing what steps to take, when to take them, and what help is available to you will make this trio of stressors far more manageable. So here are some tips and resources to help you get started.

Write a Business Plan

A lack of planning is the best way to fail before your venture even begins. When you’re starting a new company, a viable business plan details what your company does in terms of products and services, how those commodities are sold to your customers, what profits you can expect, how much funding you'll need, and any other factors you feel are important to articulate in writing. Your plan should also reflect what scale your company will be starting at, whether it's to be housed in a home office or a physical storefront.

Plan your organization with accessibility in mind. Though your specific disability may not prevent you from climbing stairs, for instance, keeping your store accessible to every kind of person will attract a wider clientele. Your local laws and regulations may also require certain disability accommodations for your business to legally operate.

Your business plan will not only provide you with a roadmap, eliminating the stress of guesswork while you attend to your other limitations and obligations, but it will also attract potential investors. Banks and private funders will want to know that you're capable of delivering on your business's promise. A properly developed plan will assure them of just that. But be aware that potential lenders may also run your credit report to see if you have a history of repaying your debts. If your credit score is too low, you may be denied. It’s best to check your own rating before making any formal financial requests.

Know Your Local Requirements

With a plan and funding secured, you should make sure your business can operate legally as well as effectively. Your local laws may require your organization to have an Employee Identification Number. An EIN functions the same as a social security number but is used for government processes regarding businesses rather than people. Setting this up early on will spare you from a tax time scramble later.

There are a variety of licenses and permits your company will also require depending on your region and field of work. For example, restaurants will require staff to have food service certifications while a manufacturer will need to provide certifications for the operation of heavy machinery. There's no shame in seeking professional help to make sure your company is obtaining all the proper permissions before you begin operating.

You will also need to find out which employee benefits are required and which you would like to add to your benefits package. You are mandated to offer things like FMLA, disability, social security, and worker’s compensation. But most employees also expect non-required benefits, like paid time off, health insurance, and retirement plans.

Advertise Effectively

A company isn't much of anything without customers, so it's a good idea to get the word out about what you're offering as early as possible. Advertising comes in many forms, the most obvious of which are flyers and print ads in local publications. This is fine if you're only marketing to people in your town, but an online presence is vital for online businesses or ones that are branching out.

Consider developing your online presence. A large majority of consumers utilize social media to determine which businesses to support. Themeisle explains that a functional and accessible website is also a must in putting your best foot forward online so you can show your customers the professionalism and care you're bringing to the business. You may even consider highlighting the accessibility measures mentioned previously.

While you can easily spread the word via social media, don’t neglect some old-fashioned approaches, too. For example, you can use a free business card design tool to generate cards that you can pass out to potential clients, or leave at key locations where potential customers are likely to gather.

Advertise Effectively

Once your business is ready to operate and your customers know where you are and what you sell, all that's left to do is open. With these complicated aspects in place, starting a business is far more manageable, even for a parent living with disabilities. Just remember to write a business plan, learn about requirements, and market effectively.

Know the Hope is dedicated to helping both communities and parents embrace the wonder that is their child with disabilities. Visit them online for resources and more information about how you can support or be supported by our mission.

By Miriam Neal Ablehope.com

Until Next Time,

Know The Hope!

Tammy Vice

A Note From Mom - I remember all the attempts Allison made to connect with Morgan in their younger years, with very little reciprocation. My hope has always been for my daughters to somehow be able to build a sweet sister bond with each other. With six years, fourteen hundred miles, and a wall of autism between them, that hope still sits on the top of my list. 

 These days, Morgan talks about Allison a lot, when she’s away. She tells me things to tell her. She talks about wanting to visit her and Jabe at their “new old house”. Although Morgan still stumbles and struggles to reach out to Allison directly, I see her desire to. I see the knowledge and understanding Allison has gained over the years, and I am grateful. It takes two to dance, and I do believe they are both closer to learning the steps of a sweet sister dance that is uniquely there own.

Allison’s Perspective - As Morgan’s sister, I have had my world view expanded. She taught me to see diversity in others and to practice patience and understanding because you never know what someone is going through. When she was diagnosed with autism when I was around 9, it didn’t change how I saw her. She was just my quirky sister that I connected with not in the typical ways of late-night girl talks but in singing silly songs together. However, if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have been exposed to the wonderful and complex world of autism. When I began to meet others that supposedly had the same diagnosis as her, I was at first shocked and confused to see how none of them were really like her but how they all still felt similar. I fell in love with trying to figure out how to communicate and teach each one because they were all so different. This set me on a career path that started when I was a teenager and has continued into my mid 30’s of working in the special education field. This career choice has come with A LOT of ups and downs but has also made me into the person I am today…. someone who wants to help people by finding ways to customize supports to meet their needs while showing kindness and understanding. If it wasn’t for Morgan and her gift of autism, I don’t know what I would be doing with my life right now.

Sister Dinner Date

Morgan has also taught me what it means to be unselfish, as it is common knowledge for most individuals on the spectrum that they unashamedly assume the world revolves around them. You can’t be mad at them for that though because it comes with having social skills deficits. With that being said, I had to learn to put myself aside to meet her unique needs and strange demands as this would bring her joy. I also feel a responsibility though to use my special education knowledge to help push her and help her grow into experiencing the fullest potential for her life. My sisterly relationship with Morgan is at times more like a motherly one. I try to be careful of this though and remain as more of her sister since she already has a wonderful mother and needs a different connection with me.

So, thank you Morgan for helping me learn more of what it means to love others for who they truly are and for expanding the way that I see the world and helping me find a sense of passion and purpose for my life.

Love you sister!

Allison

Love you dearly Allison.  Thank you for sharing,

Mom

*Disclaimer: **The views and opinions expressed in this blog are the those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official views or opinions of Autism Tennessee. The author and the blog are not be held responsible for any misuse, reuse, recycled and cited and/or uncited copies of content within this blog by others.