NETFLIX AND CHILL DOESN’T MEAN WHAT I THOUGHT IT MEANT........
AND OTHER THINGS AUTISM TAUGHT ME

By Chloe Sybert

Hey! Chloe here, and being autistic can be frustrating and wonderful at the same time. It depends on how you look at it.

I could think,
“Man, Autism really turned me into a socially awkward fool.”
Or I could think,
"There are plenty of socially awkward fools who don’t have autism! And now I’m a wiser, slightly less socially awkward person because I learned from my mistakes!”

(For me) Autism is a wonderful thing, and I became truly proud of my diagnosis. With that being said, having autism makes things hard to navigate in life sometimes! Here’s some wise nuggets of wisdom I’ve picked up along the way. (Thanks Autism!)

1. The camera app on my phone app isn’t just there to take amazing selfies! I’ve always had trouble with feeling food on my face and have had many an encounter with fine members of the male population- with who knows WHAT on my face?! (for real!) you would think SOMEONE would tell me, but Noooooo! So hence the camera app! I turn that life saver on, check my face and teeth, make sure I’m looking fine as wine again- then (and only then) do I strut my stuff!

2. Your going to laugh, but I literally had to ask my mom what "Netflix and Chill" means! Psst:Netflix and chill doesn’t literally mean Netflix and chill (I’m disturbed). The morals of this factoid are: A. I shouldn’t take everything literally or be so naïve, and B. If I’m unsure of the meaning of something, I should ask. But probably only ask someone I trust!

3. Sadly not everyone can or should be trusted! I’ve always had a problem with being overly open, and overly trusting. It’s hard for me to tell whether people are genuinely not good for me, versus just imperfect people. I tend to get attached to people really quickly. The good side to that is, if your my true blue friend, I’m loyal to you, and you will always know how much I truly love you. The con is, I have befriended people who have quickly betrayed my trust repeatedly. It’s easy for me to be hurt. So I was talking to a professor about this. I told him I needed more concrete rules or formulas for navigating my trust spending (how much trust I give people). He suggested that I imagine everyone starts with 50 points. If they do something kind or something I deem worthy of friendship, I mentally add up however many points I deem fit. However, if they let me down, I mentally subtract points. ( they can be earned back). If they get too low, I will see their true colors and know I probably shouldn’t be around them. I just don’t walk around tallying up points in a notebook!

4. As funny as I am, I have learned to be aware of over disclosure! Well, yes a lot of my insights are rather hilarious, some are inappropriate for certain audiences. Also I don’t need to over share everything about me!

5. I learned my mom will comment on my … well unique sense of style. But that’s just because she cares about me. She means well and is not trying to insult me. Some of what she says is funny! And it teaches me valuable lessons. For instance: did you know if I wear the wrong sock, shoe, pant  combination to Hobby Lobby, my parents will look at each other and say , “Chloe, you look like Micheal Jackson!”? It’s true. It happened.

6. I tend to over analyze every text I send to my friends. I’ve learned that true friendships will not end over a silly text. And true friends can always work out a dispute.

7. I learned I should never apologize for being who I am or taking steps to ensure that I am comfortable at outings! True friends will understand and will want me to be comfortable!

8. The world may not accommodate always me, but there are good people in this world. There’s plenty of people on my life or who I’ve encountered who have shown kindness and understanding and have accommodated for my needs! I have heard horror stories of ableism in the media, and while that breaks my heart, autism taught me there are good people in the world.

There you go! Some wise words of wisdom! Wait! One more thing: it’s perfectly fine and acceptable to love yourself. It doesn’t matter if you have autism or not. You deserve to love who you are! Trust me- I’ve learned THAT the hard way!

-Chloe

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